


never come up again

by erintoknow



Series: Aria-Rough Drafts [11]
Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén, Fallen Hero: Rebirth (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Gen, POV Female Character, POV Second Person, Trans Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-05 21:35:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20280181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erintoknow/pseuds/erintoknow
Summary: The moment passes quickly. Your hamburger wrapper can’t strike back at you for throwing it away. You can.





	never come up again

> So would you teach me I'm the villain, aren't I?
> 
> Aren't I the one constantly repenting for a difficult mind?
> 
> Push me down into the water like a sinner, hold me under  
And I'll never come up again
> 
> Stay Down - boygenius

The moment the pharmacist hands you the pill bottles you reach in with your mind and wrap the last five minutes in a blur of sound. Her eyes glaze over and she wanders away into the backroom. Oh, what’s that? The pills are on the house? You’re too kind.

It’s taken you over almost a decade to learn, but you can’t hid from the truth any longer. You can’t count on anyone else. They convince you to open your heart just so they can stab it better, or abandon you, or just straight up die. The thought you could ever be like one them, milling about in the throng of the city crowds lost in their empty headed thoughts… it hurts to remember.

The pharmacist is going to get in serious trouble if your ‘free sample’ is caught. Maybe lose her job. Once that would have given you pause but now you swallow the guilt down with a glass a water before screwing the lid back on the bottle of spiro. Every single one of them would hate you, if they knew you. _Really_ knew you. Who you are. What you are.

Why even care anymore?

You crumble the hamburger wrapper into a ball and toss it towards the trash can. It bounces off the rim and into the bush. You have to suppress the urge to pick it up. You feel a strange sense of kinship with the wadded waxpaper. Garbage that missed the disposal.

The moment passes quickly. Your hamburger wrapper can’t strike back at you for throwing it away. _You can_.

It’ll probably destroy you, but that seems less like a bug; more like a feature.

The estrogen is still dissolving under your tongue when the row of TVs for sale in a store window demand your attention with a news report. The Rangers have finally brought in the boosted serial killer that had been terrorizing Santa Monica for the past summer. Thanks to a tip from an ‘anonymous citizen’ leading to the discovery of her hideout. A grim smile spreads across your face as you stick your hands in the pockets of your ratty grey hoodie. That’s the last of the currently active murdering villains cleared from the board.

No more distractions.

“Well…” You chew on the inside of your cheek. “Time to see what I can do with this city.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ask Meme writing prompt:  
57) things you said when no one else was around


End file.
